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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28654284">just be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrongSeason/pseuds/WrongSeason'>WrongSeason</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>His Dark Materials (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, F/F, Literally lol, Please assume they’ve spent lots of time together at this point, Pre-Relationship, Wordcount: 100-1.000, get your mind out of the gutter, marisa needs some vulnerabilty, mary has warmth by the bucket full, they’re in Marisa’s world because WHY NOT, they’re very familiar with each other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:13:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>598</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28654284</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrongSeason/pseuds/WrongSeason</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“What are we doing?” You ask. </p><p>“What do you mean? Aren’t we just two people who couldn’t sleep?”</p><p>~ Or, Mary and Marisa talk ~</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Marisa Coulter/Mary Malone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>just be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Somebody stop me I am begging you. </p><p>These two own my heart. </p><p>And no, I won’t stop writing soft Marisa. </p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p><p>Title is Just Be by Paloma Faith</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You don’t sleep much at home, so you aren’t sure why you thought you’d sleep any better here. Always something to do or somewhere to be. A mind that doesn’t let up. After what seems like an eternity of tossing and turning, you give up and sneak out of the bedroom, making your way through the halls. </p><p>You’re staring at some particularly convoluted piece of art when her voice startles you. </p><p>“Couldn’t sleep either?”</p><p>You shrug, turning round to look at her. She’s stood under a window and you wonder if it’s strategic. She looks ethereal. Shrouded by moonlight. </p><p>You move to stand next to her, leaning against the wall. </p><p>“It’s too quiet. It’s always so much at home. Can hear the foxes scrapping in the bins or some other nonsense. Seems I can’t find an inbetween.”</p><p>She laughs at this, brushing some stray hair behind her ear. </p><p>“I’m sure you always find an inbetween, my dear.”</p><p>You roll your eyes at her, but find you aren’t really mad. Never could be. </p><p>“What are we doing?” You ask. </p><p>“What do you mean? Aren’t we just two people who couldn’t sleep?”</p><p>“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”</p><p>She sighs, folding in on herself. You’ve never seen her standing anything but tall. She’s so preoccupied with presenting herself to the world that she forgets you see straight through it. </p><p>“I like you,” she starts, unable to meet your gaze. “I really like you, and that terrifies me.”</p><p>Her hands twist nervously, and you long to reach out and hold them. There’s a quiet that you’re used to. Her brain works at a thousand thoughts a second, cogs constantly turning, but she’s always chosen her words wisely. Never let on more than she feels necessary. Now is one of those times she doesn’t feel the need to elaborate. </p><p>“Why are you so afraid to be vulnerable?”</p><p>She scoffs, and it makes you flinch.</p><p>“Well it hasn’t gotten me very far, has it?” There’s an edge to her voice that you berate yourself for inciting. But you get it. Know that she considers the thing she’s proudest of as also her greatest failure. That one came out after one too many, and she didn’t speak to you for three days after. You never mentioned it again. </p><p>“But that’s because you’re <i>here!</i> You could do so much more in my world. With people who actually care about you. People who want to see you succeed.”</p><p>“Who cares about me in your world?”</p><p>“I do!” You can’t help the exasperation in your tone. “I do,” you repeat more softly, exhaustion creeping in. </p><p>You’re tired of fighting this. You think she is too. </p><p>You cup the side of her face in your hand, and stroke your thumb across her cheekbone. She doesn’t pull away. </p><p>“You could get your doctorate. Finally get the recognition you deserve.”</p><p>Her eyes shut in defeat, and she leans into your touch. You take the step and rest your foreheads together. </p><p>“Let yourself be happy, Marisa. Just once.”</p><p>She sniffles, and you realise she’s crying. You fold her into a hug. </p><p>It’s a little awkward. She’s taller than you think, and you don’t normally hug people who don’t hug back. But her hands eventually find their place on your back, and you find yourself swallowing a lump that you didn’t realise had formed in your throat. </p><p>“Come home with me,” you say, voice small. It’s more of a request than anything, and she nods in acquiescence. </p><p>It’s a start. </p><p>“And for what it’s worth.</p><p>I like you too.”</p>
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